it's time already?

it's almost time for me to fly back to KL.

it's almost time for my results to come out.

it's almost time for me to start my second year.

it's almost time for me to be independent all over again.

it's almost time for me to leave home again.

it's almost time again.

oh i really struggle to go back everytime.

must be the blissfulness and happiness home provides.

oh i really don't like this feeling.

kuching is really the best of the best! (honest! no joke here! :))

kuching kuching! i heart kuching!

home home! i heart home!

Hello world!

My two months in Kuching is almost up and counting down the days, I have exactly 10 days before I leave home to start another chapter of my life; my second year. Well, that's after I get my results which would be out by the end of the month. *gulp gulp* :))

Anyhoo, so far I've done quite a few stuff such as baking chocolate cakes, prune cake, muffins, cupcakes, apple crumble, pies; and have eaten them all! That's not it! I've also had my share of tomato mee, tomato kueh tiaw, my favourite bubur chacha(is that how u spell it?!), laksa from Chong Choon, laksa cooked by my auntie(which is way better because i get to put more prawns and stuffs! yay!), mee pok(which is another version of kolo mee; since I don't like kolo mee's mee), tons of sushi, a whole lot more ice creams from Sunny Hill and Desserts(which is officially my favourite ice cream place), beef noodle, yummy fishball soup(from someplace I forgot the name), malak mien from Life Cafe, my favourite Thai food from the Thai reataurant below Lok Thian, rojak, belacan bihun and ice kacang from SKH, buffet lunch at the Banquet where I had tons of yummilicious food such as curry butter prawn(oh-so-good!), abalone, shark's fin soup, soft shell crab and so much more(we had 14 dishes okay! don't play play!!), butter prawn from S'wak Club, and most delicious of all, mummy's cooking~! Honestly, there were so much more but if I were to list down each and every single one of the food I ate, you'll become fat just reading all these! Can you imagine how fat I am right now!? No kidding! Rawrr!

That's not all I did. I have also done a fair amount of exercise; jogging in the evenings, swimming and gym on Saturdays'. I have to or else I'll be an obese person that you won't be able to recognize me anymore if you ever see me. No joke there!

I've also worked for UIP, teach PMR students(including my sis that is), meet up with friends, become a driver(no complaints though; I love driving!), shared a word in my previous school during their ISCF meet(which was so encouraging for me to see so many young people burning for God), met priests who shared about church planting and I am so impressed with the amount of faith they have, shared lives with the people around me and most important of all, build new friendships that will definitely last a lifetime.

There is so much more that I've done and I have tons of pictures but perhaps another time because I have to wake up super early tomorrow to climb Mount Singai and I need all the strength I have to ensure I make it to the top. I'm looking forward to tomorrow because I've prepared quite a few games for both parents and children alike after our prayer session. Teehee!
I truly believe it will be a fruitful one! :))

P/s Not only am I fat, I am also incredibly dark after a whole day trip to camp permai where I literally burn myself to the colour I am now... black! *RAWRRRR*

I'm not ready to go back yet! :((

Passion Kuala Lumpur 2008

"Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws,
we wait for you;
your name and renown
are the desire of our hearts."
*Isaiah 26:8*

That was 10 days ago and yet the message is still prodding me today. It's asking me to flee from all my complaints and obey. It's telling me that it's high time to come back home.

My confession? Tons.

It's not like I have not been attending church, or not serving or not reading the bible. Oh yes, I have been doing just that. Indeed I still do what I always do; but it seems mere chore to me. It now feels like something I have grown to doing.

The truth is, I am weak. Very very weak. I am a weak person. I try my very best to be for God; to be a Godly woman, but i struggle. I admit. It's true.

You know how I'm always loud and talkative(oh yes i talk a LOT) and how much I love to just laugh and be me? My sickness doesn't permit me to be as such. I laugh and feel tired. I want to just be like everyone else; to run and be alright but I cannot. Sometimes I try to brush it off and live with it but often I end up feeling so mad at myself for getting sick like that.

And yes, I believe in healing and hang on to it but I fall sick again and I have no other choice but to take my medicine. I am like a slave to my inhaler.

And then, sickness take its toll on me. I now not only suffer from asthma, I have a growth on my left ear. I try to ignore it but it has grown so rapidly it's scaring me a whole lot. It's been roughly a year plus since I've had it and today, it's just a huge thing that looks as if it's stuck to my ear. It's still growing btw. Honestly, I am very self conscious about this growth. I have not tied my hair in public since and when I played sports, I usually pull some hair to just cover it. No, I did not tell many people about it because I thought if I just keep quiet and pray hard enough it would go away. Well, it didn't. Worst still, I went to numerous doctors and all of them told me that if I were to cut off the keloid, it would come back; perhaps bigger than before. They said its genetic that I'm prone to have keloid whenever I get cuts or injuries. My heart broke. I hold on to God but it seems that I just don't understand why it is happening to me. Oh I've cried a lot.

Today, I went to see another doctor and apparently he's the best in town. He told me the same thing as the rest of the doctors but he is willing to do the surgery for me though he did emphasized that there is the risk of the keloid growing bigger after the operation but the risk must be taken since my keloid is still growing. The operation is scheduled in December because well, I am not ready for that operation and I do want to believe in God that it will not grow back after the surgery.

I still have the heart for God but I have been placing all my problems over the desire of His heart. I focused very much on mine and focused on how to not pay to much attention on my problems. Haahaa! So ironic!

Anyways in Passion, Louie reminded me that we should let God be the Lord of our life. In sickness or in health, God is still Lord of my life.

It clicked. It made me realize what I have to do. In sickness or in health. It is something I deal with and trust God. In times when I cannot breathe, trust God. In times when I feel scared, trust God.

Passion. It is surreal and it burns deep within me. It still does. I just got lost in the midst of it.

I truly praise God for everything. My weakness, my strengths, my life.

And most of all, I am glad I took the time to fly to Kl just for Passion and gather with so many youths who is so passionate for God. My sis flew with me and both of us cried so much while worshiping, just believing and surrendering to God. I am so glad she was so impacted through Passion. :))

Till then, greetings from me still in Kuching! I will update more about my life here soon!